transparancy

Blogger is not letting me post pictures. I've tried for two days. I still haven't come to the point where I'll cuss on this blog, but I thought about it.

What I really wanted to tell you is that I miss my friends. I don't want to have a whiny blog, but, just in case you wondered. . . since I never call and rarely email. I don't call because I still think i shouldn't call long distance just to tell you that Pioneer Woman's Cauliflower soup is really yummy, or Josiah pooped in his underwear twice today, or I bought bedside tables for $10 a piece! And so tonight, after the chapel picnic, I just don't feel like filling you in on all the details, I just want to tell you that Midwestern potlucks aren't quite as good as southern ones. For the record, I DID have pictures of the picnic, but stupid blogger won't let me upload them. There, I'm getting closer to cussing. I better sign off.

As I walked home tonight, tired of meeting new faces and trying to put names with the faces I met yesterday or the day before, I was thinking the words of this Sara Groves song:

don’t want to leave here I don’t want to stay

It feels like pinching to me either way

The places I long for the most Are the places where I’ve been

They are calling after me like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith It’s not about trust

It’s all about comfortable When you move so much

The place I was wasn’t perfect But I had found a way to live

It wasn’t milk or honey But then neither is this

I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt Leaving out what it lacked

The future seems so hard And I want to go back

But the places that used to fit me Cannot hold the things I"ve learned

And those roads closed off to me While my back was turned

The past is so tangible I know it by heart

Familiar things are never easy to discard

I was dying for some freedom But now I hesitate to go

Caught between the promise And the things I know

So there you have it. This is a great place to live, and we're thankful to be here, but sometimes I want to be back in the familiar, and back among friends.

We have an address!

I've always thought the army was an exciting place to be! Our week has been no exception, as we literally RACED to secure our Fort Leavenworth housing. Here's how it all went down:

Months ago, we were told which four neighborhoods we "qualified" for, based on family size and student status. We ranked those neighborhoods by preference, and were assigned our second choice, Infantry Barracks. I have already mentioned that we were anxious about these beautiful old apartments and how our children and dog would adjust to no backyard. My discouragement turned to hope, however, when I discovered that some friends, the Snells, were there! If you know the Snells (either from Wheaton or Fort Riley) you know what a blessing it would be to live nearby! (Ok, I might not want to live under them, or any family with six kids, for that matter, but next door, YES!)

About the same time, we also realized that waiting until we arrive on the 10th to sign our lease was risky. Students were pouring into Leavenworth all summer and, although we had a neighborhood assignment, there was a big difference in the individual homes. For example, we could have a first floor apartment or a second floor one. A busy street or a quiet one. An outer apartment with a chance for a fenced yard or an inner one with only a shared courtyard. Jess buttered up the housing office staff and gathered as much information as he could about what would be available and then. . .

Meredith Snell to the rescue! She and her six kids, armed with our power of attorney, trucked over to the housing office bright and early Monday morning to find a place for us! We had in mind an apartment in her building, but that was not yet available, and, not being a gambler, I didn't want to wait for it and pass up something else. She toured a couple of places and picked out one that I think will be great!!! It is on the first floor, on the quiet street, across from the playground and a few buildings away from the Snells. It is in the middle, BUT it had a fenced in courtyard). The floor plan seems great for our family--lots of storage, she says!

We have always been comforted knowing that God, in his sovereignty, has determined where we should live--it has been so evident each time we move in that this is exactly where we should be. So we are ready and excited for the next adventure and thankful that we have an address!

PS I will email that address out soon.

PSS Please continue to pray that we find a renter for our Georgia house!!!

Hymn Sing Sunday

Praise, My Soul, The King Of Heaven
1. Praise, my soul, the King of heaven;
To His feet thy tribute bring.
Ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven,
Who like me His praise should sing?
Praise Him, praise Him, praise Him, praise Him,
Praise the everlasting King.

2. Praise Him for His grace and favor
To our fathers in distress.
Praise Him still the same forever,
Slow to chide, and swift to bless.
Praise Him, praise Him, praise Him, praise Him,
Glorious in His faithfulness.

3. Frail as summer’s flower we flourish
Blows the wind and it is gone
But while mortals rise and perish
God endures unchanging on
Praise Him, praise Him, praise Him, praise Him,
Praise the high eternal One

4. Fatherlike He tends and spares us;
Well our feeble frame He Knows.
In His hands He gently bears us,
Rescues us from all our foes.
Praise Him, praise Him, praise Him, praise Him,
Widely as His mercy goes.

5. Angels help us to adore Him;
Ye behold Him face to face;
Sun and moon, bow down before Him,
Dwellers all in time and space.
Praise Him, praise Him,praise Him, praise Him,
Praise with us the God of grace.

Hymn Sing Sunday

Arise, my soul, arise; shake off thy guilty fears;
The bleeding sacrifice in my behalf appears:
Before the throne my surety stands,Before the throne my surety stands,
My name is written on His hands.

He ever lives above, for me to intercede;
His all redeeming love, His precious blood, to plead:
His blood atoned for all our race,His blood atoned for all our race,
And sprinkles now the throne of grace.

Five bleeding wounds He bears; received on Calvary;
They pour effectual prayers; they strongly plead for me:
“Forgive him, O forgive,” they cry,“Forgive him, O forgive,” they cry,
“Nor let that ransomed sinner die!”

The Father hears Him pray, His dear anointed One;
He cannot turn away, the presence of His Son;
His Spirit answers to the blood,His Spirit answers to the blood,
And tells me I am born of God.

My God is reconciled; His pardoning voice I hear;
He owns me for His child; I can no longer fear:
With confidence I now draw nigh,With confidence I now draw nigh,
And “Father, Abba, Father,” cry.

Charles Wesley, 1742

Jeremiah 29:11

What?! You're moving?!

I've been hearing that a bit lately at which point I give my standard answer: Yes, we're military, we move. It's going to be a great year for us, and we're looking forward to it, but it will be really really hard to leave Savannah.

I realize I haven't updated everyone on our news, mostly because, as it is with much of our life, there are still a lot of variables out there. But here goes: Jess is finishing up his time with the Savannah District and will be heading to ILE. That's army talk for a one year school for Majors. It's at Fort Leavenworth, KS just north of Kansas City. Yes, there's a big prison there. There is also a beautiful post, a very active Officer Christian Fellowship group, and Nebraska Furniture Mart. It's an amusement park of furniture. We've visited Leavenworth (and Nebraska Furniture Mart) several times in the past, when we lived at Fort Riley. We tried for several months to sell our home here, with no luck, and are now trying to find a renter. We're scheduled to move the second week in July and already have our housing assignment at Leavenworth in the Infantry Barracks. Sounds exciting, huh? They are actually converted 100 year old barracks, but I've heard they are very very nice. Bigger than we have here, but more like apartment living, which will be a challenge with 4 kids and a big dog! We've been busy looking up satellite imagery on maps.live.com and shopping for rugs to cover all of those hardwood floors.

We know it will be great. But we're sad. We're very sad. We will leave our church and school where we've been for six (non-consecutive) years. And we have a lot of uncertainty. We don't know who will rent our house. We don't know where we will go to church. We don't know how we will manage without a backyard. We don't even know if we will homeschool the children next year or send them to public school! This isn't unusual for us. It just seems to get harder the older our children get.

Its enough to keep me up at night (oh, wait, that's kind of a bad habit of mine with or without anxiety). Then I think of this beautiful baby.

His middle name is Jeremiah. He's named for his mother's favorite verse about God's providence.

Couldn't you just eat him up? And he'll hug you too. Not like my kids. They squirm.

His parents (and their friends--me!) prayed for him long before he was born. And they were encouraged that God had a plan for them.

I am grateful that I got to meet him, and be reminded that God's plans are for our good, and we can trust Him!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Hymn-sing Sundays

I love hymns. And am often moved by the 2nd and 3rd verses of the popular hymns. The ones we sing less often. Welcome to hymn-sing Sundays.

Rock of Ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee;
let the water and the blood, from thy wounded side which flowed,
be of sin the double cure; save from wrath and make me pure.

2. Not the labors of my hands can fulfill thy law's commands;
could my zeal no respite know, could my tears forever flow,
all for sin could not atone; thou must save, and thou alone.

3. Nothing in my hand I bring, simply to the cross I cling;
naked, come to thee for dress; helpless, look to thee for grace;
foul, I to the fountain fly; wash me, Savior, or I die.

4. While I draw this fleeting breath, when mine eyes shall close in death,
when I soar to worlds unknown, see thee on thy judgment throne,
Rock of Ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee.

TOPLADY 1776

More on our Little Lou

Yes, I believe in the Christan doctrine of original sin. I agree with my pastor that our children are fighting for control of our homes the minute they are brought home from the hospital. The thing is, until this last month, I kind of suspected that Adeline did not share the rest of humanity's fallen nature. Ooooh she's just so cute and sweet and, sure, she cries and doesn't want to be with anyone but me, but can you blame her? And yes, she never took a bottle, but, hey, is it really sinful? Like I said. . . until, this last month.


The girl is showin' her wild side. Her stubborn side. Her "I want it now" side. Our dinner struggles in that high chair have worn me out! She will climb out of every strap and stand up over, and over, and over again--one time I counted 20minutes straight of standing in the high chair and being corrected every 6 seconds.

But oh, she is fun to be around. She won't stop for a second, even trying to "eat and run"- not real pleasant for Mom. She bobs her head to the music and has HUGE grins for her siblings when they say hello. She waves and points and gives "high fives". Oh! And she has mastered the sippy cup! A light at the end of the tunnel! I've enjoyed seeing her attachment to her "lovey"--a little blanket. And her fun crawling around our bed. The nursery workers have discovered her love for Cheerios--she eats all day long on Sunday, but it keeps her happy.

So I guess a lot has happened this month for Addie. We treasure these days, while praying that our sweet baby (and all our sweet children) will see their sinful heart subdued by sovereign grace early in their lives.--

see how I tied that in with the beginning? Even though I've written this post on and off all day. . .

Happy Birthday, Sweet Adeline!

PS. I think these pictures from tonight show a little of her feistiness. I originally wanted to take her picture in this sweet vintage dress of my mother's, but she wouldn't hold still for a minute, hence the half-clothed shots above. She wants to eat my camera. This is all I got of that pretty little dress:

A Hymn of Grace

I love this hymn. And today, like MANY days, I need to stop and be reminded that I can do nothing in my own strength and power. I get very very busy and forget. That God saved me. Through His own power and for His own purposes.

Horatius Bonar, 1861

Not what my hands have done
Can save my guilty soul;
Not what my toiling flesh has borne
Can make my spirit whole.
Not what I feel or do
Can give me peace with God;
Not all my prayers and sighs and tears
Can bear my awful load.

Thy work alone, O Christ,
Can ease this weight of sin;
Thy blood alone, O Lamb of God,
Can give me peace within.
Thy love to me, O God,Not mine,
O Lord to thee,
Can rid me of this dark unrest
And set my spirit free.

Thy grace alone, O God,
To me can pardon speak;
Thy pow'r alone, O Son of God,
Can this sore bondage break.
No other work, save thine,
No other blood will do;
No strength, save that which is divine,
Can bear me safely through.

I bless the Christ of God;
I rest on love divine;
And with unfalt'ring lip and heart
I call this Saviour mine.
This cross dispels each doubt;
I bury in his tomb
Each thought of unbelief and fear,
Each ling'ring shade of gloom.

I praise the God of grace;
I trust his truth and might;
He calls me his, I call him mine,
My God, my joy, my light.
'Tis he who saveth me,
And freely pardon gives;
I love because he loveth me,
I live because he lives.

(TITUS 3:4-6) But—“When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit.

PS I know you want to see some Disney pictures--they're coming soon, i promise.

Merry Christmas, dear friends!!!!

Hail, thou ever blessed morn!

Hail, redemption's happy dawn!

Sing through all Jerusalem,

Christ is born in Bethlehem.

Good Reading

We are on our way! Day 2 of our 3 day trek to our Oklahoma Christmas. I don't know who wrote this, but I've read this a few times over the last few days (I probably could have read it more, if you ask my family). Enjoy!

A Christmas Version of 1st Corinthians 13
If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator. If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not share the true meaning of Christmas, I'm just another cook. If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not demonstrate kindness to strangers, it profits me nothing. If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point. Love stops the cooking to hug the child. Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband. Love is kind, though harried and tired. Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens. Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way. Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can't. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails. Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure. "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care. . .

Isn't this the perfect picture of giddy anticipation? We are all looking foward to celebrating with friends and family way over yonder in Oklahoma.

Another symbol of giddy anticipation:

The stockings are hung, waiting to be filled. . . no, overflowing with goodies. And one more favorite symbol of anticipation:

How silently, how silently

The wondrous gift is given!

So God imparts to human hearts

The blessings of his heav'n.

No ear may hear his coming,

But in this world of sin,

Where meek souls will receive him still,

The dear Christ enters in

PS. I stole the picture of the manger, but I did make the stockings :-)

Cards and songs

I can't decide on a Christmas card picture. There were just so many I loved for different reasons. So I've decided to post the ones I don't use every few days, a long with a favorite Christmas hymn or two. I love the hymns at Christmas, especially the 3rd and 4th verses. No kidding. Have you read/sung them? They are usually my favorite, which is a shame, because carolers always stop after verse one and then move into a lively Rudolph.

The "Very Savannah" Christmas Card

All my heart this night rejoices

All my heart this night rejoices.
As I hear Far and near
Sweetest angel voices.
"Christ is born,"
their choirs are singing
Till the air Everywhere
Now with joy is ringing.

Forth today the Conqueror goeth,
Who the foe, Sin and woe,
Death and hell, o'erthroweth.
God is man, man to deliver;
His dear Son Now is one
With our blood forever

Shall we still dread God's displeasure,
Who, to save, Freely gave
His most cherished treasure?
To redeem us, he hath given
His own Son From the throne
Of his might in heaven.

He becomes the Lamb that taketh
Sin away And for aye
Full atonement maketh.
For our life his own he tenders;
And our race, By his grace,
Meet for glory renders.

Hark! a voice from yonder manger,
Soft and sweet, Doth entreat:
"Flee from woe and danger,
Brethren, from all ills that grieve you
You are freed; All you need
I will surely give you.

Come, then, banish all your sadness,
One and all, Great and small;
Come with songs of gladness.
Love him who with love is glowing;
Hail the star, Near and far
Light and joy bestowing.

Dearest Lord, thee will I cherish.
Though my breath Fail in death,
Yet I shall not perish,
But with thee abide for ever
There on high, In that joy
Which can vanish never.

This is based on a German Christmas carol composed by Johann Gerg Ebeling in the 15th century. It was translated into English by Catherine Winkworth. Go here to hear the hymn. And btw, like many old hymns, we only sing a fraction of the verses--this one had 11!

Praying for soldiers. . .

I wanted to take a sec and ask y'all to pray for a soldier, Rob Yllescas, who was seriously wounded in Afghanistan this week. I don't know the family, but we have mutual friends from our last post. The reason I mention it here is that Rob's family has started a blog, and besides your prayers, it is encouraging to the family to hear that folks are reading and praying and rooting for them. So when you think of it, pray for this family, and then go to their blog and just let them know you did! And while you're thinking of it, keep my friend Catherine and her husband in your prayers too. They have a long road of recovery ahead as well.

"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. . ."

In which I rant and rave like a religious fanatic

I really have been pretty good on this blog. I have not tackled controversial stuff, I haven't gone on and on about the phone company, I just barely mentioned that Victoria Secret sales lady. Jess can tell you I tend to get, um. . . a bit worked up about things at times, while he calmly reminds me that I should expect to feel like an "alien and stranger" in this world cause that's what I am, and that the things of God are indeed foolishness to those who don't believe, cause God said they'd be. I have a wise husband. A wise and usually-annoyingly-calm-about-things husband. But I just have to tell you that Halloween is my least favorite holiday. I LOVE autumn. I love spices and cider and anything to do with pumpkin. Sure I love to see my kids all dressed up, but really, they don't need a holiday to play dress up. Have you seen us at the commissary lately? I sometimes travel with a spiderman body guard or a princess entourage. But here's the deal. The reason I don't like Halloween is because somehow things that are completely inappropriate, like a life-size man hanging from a tree with a noose around his neck, become completely appropriate, all in the name of "good clean spooky fun." I just hate that we don't have to go looking for terror like this, it's on tv commercials during the morning news, or ringing our doorbell on Oct. 31st, or, in our case this year, a life sized hanibal lector in our neighbor's front yard.


I'm not a big fan of the Christian Broadcasting Network, honestly, but they had two good articles about Halloween. One asking Christians to avoid "circling the wagons" and having our "harvest festivals" instead of going into our neighborhood and being salt and light. I liked it better than the one suggesting we have our own celebrations. But, I can't bring myself to take my sweetly dressed 6, 4, and 2 year olds around the block, knowing what they'll see. And do I answer the door to trick-or-treaters? I have been known to peek out the window at each ring of the doorbell before I told my children whether they can answer, or go hide in their room while i answered. Why? Well, the 5 year old in the scream mask and the 7 year old with the bloody ax in his scull did a number on their dreams that night. Again, I have to scream "WHY IS IT GOOD CLEAN FUN TO DRESS LIKE A MURDER VICTIM AND A MURDERER?!" Ok, Jess, I know you're giving me the "simmer-down" look. I just had to let out a little steam. And I will leave it there and not try broach the subject of sexy french maid costumes on 6 year olds.

I get a lot of "super mom" comments. A lot of "I don't know how you do it." These are very sweet comments from very sweet people, but I think this blog, especially, paints a one-sided picture. We naturally blog the good things--the things we want people to see and the things we want to remember. Well, I am NO super-mom. Case in point: I sprayed my children with perfume this morning before church instead of bathe them--and it had been 3 days. I could list more faults, but one, my mom would worry about me, and two, I wanted to get to bed earlier tonight. But take my word for it, I mess up regularly. I reach the end of my rope too fast. I don't accept help very well. I depend on coffee more than I depend on God. God has been so gracious to us through this deployment, and it's obvious as you scroll through this blog. But I just wanted to clarify--our success has been God's grace despite my faults, not because I'm anything special!

Along those lines, since I know most if not all the readers of this blog pray for us, here are some things you can remember.

-That Jess will finish well. That he will be encouraged and strengthened by the chapel services he is able to attend (I know he misses IPC).
-Ella starts pre-k tomorrow! I know she's really excited, but sometimes our drama queen can be unpredictable.
-Sam seems to be experiencing quiet a bit of insecurity lately. He has cried in unexpected places. Pray that I will have wisdom about when to have extra compassion, and when to push him a bit. Pray for him as he begins kindergarden.
-Our trip this weekend to my brother's wedding! Not too long by Curry standards (it's in TN) but I just want us to be a blessing to those around us! And pray for Dave and Esther as they begin their life together!
-Pray that I will not get so busy that forget my purpose is to glorify God. I have been meditating on this verse in Isaiah: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength." God's people were trying to do things their way, and they were failing miserably. It was a good warning for me, and I am trying to work out what this verse looks like in my own busy life.

I know this was a more serious post. Sundays are the days I feel the most stares and hear the most comments about my super-strength (I'm sure there are equal amounts of people out there saying I'm crazy.) I'll be sure to post about school tomorrow. Both kids are sure cute in their uniforms!!!

in which i attempt to be more transparent. . .

my childhood home, from Sunday

"You can't go home again." But I did. . . and it was fun! My parents moved from my childhood home in Memphis to Nashville right after I married. In fact, I remember waiting for out of town wedding guests while sitting in lawn chairs in my front yard as prospective buyers looked at the house (lawn chairs in the front yard-insert redneck joke here). I love Nashville, but it's not really home. That, and moving around with the military, and I don't really feel like there's a place I can go where I have history. No one, besides my family, who has known me for more than a couple of years. And I've wondered what it would feel like to sleep with my children in a room where I slept as a child. Now I know that my experience is far from unique. But it's very different from my husband's experience when he goes home. Marissa, IL was home to J until he left for college. He has known his best friends since elementary school, and the people we see around town were his teachers, coaches, and babysitters.

Anyway, I went to first evan this past weekend and got a little taste of this kind of homecoming. I have been 2 times since I was married in the church 9 years ago. I loved the friends of my parents who would ooh and ahh over my baby and say "Is she your first?" "No, 4th." (with wide eyes)"Ohhhh." And then they would see my oldest. "He looks just like David!"(my brother) I even got to catch up on the latest gossip with an old youth group friend. Nothing that day was a disappointment--I feel blessed to have such happy memories!

It did start me thinking. Our children will not have one specific place to call home either. They will not live in one place for more than a couple of years. There will be people in their lives who we'll keep up with, but they will be scattered all over the globe. I have yet to think of moving around as a negative thing, but then again, my oldest is not yet in kindergarden. I think I will still always try to focus on the postitive aspects of these moves. More friends in more places! More excitement! More adventure! More opportunities! I will also try to make every place we move a comfortable, peaceful, beautiful place to call home. And then there's our large family. I think that's great! The children will have their siblings along everywhere they go.

And I guess it's a reminder that none of us should get too comfortable here in our temporary home on earth. That's what I love about the military. It doesnt allow me to get too comfortable. Cause when I get comfortable, the Lord always stirs things up!

"As thy days, so shall thy strength be.” Deuteronomy 33:25

I'm still really tired and a little sick. At home I was getting 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night, between staying up and doing chores or chatting with J, getting up at night with a kid or a dog, and waking up early for a kid or two. Although there were some mornings where I just cried out "Lord, get me through this day so I can lie down again tonight!", I functioned really well. Now, I just feel exhausted. You might say I was running on adrenaline and now I'm crashing. But I think that God gives us just the strength we need. Lina Sandell thought so too. She wrote the words to this hymn.

Day by day, and with each passing moment,

Strength I find, to meet my trials here;

Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,

I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.

He Whose heart is kind beyond all measure

Gives unto each day what He deems best—

Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure,

Mingling toil with peace and rest.

Every day, the Lord Himself is near me

With a special mercy for each hour;

All my cares He fain would bear, and cheer me,

He Whose Name is Counselor and Power;

The protection of His child and treasure

Is a charge that on Himself He laid;

“As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,”

This the pledge to me He made.

Help me then in every tribulation

So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,

That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation

Offered me within Thy holy Word.

Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,

Ever to take, as from a father’s hand,

One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,

Till I reach the promised land.

but i know you really just came to see pictures:

360 Skittles

I put 360 skittles in the jar, 120 each for the 3 big kids. I think I overestimated how many we'd need, so I'll take the red ones out and send the bag to J. I guess it's good to remember that our last deployment would have filled 3 of those jars for three kids and God was so faithful! I thought this blog might be an easy way to keep a Daddy up to date on his kids. and maybe add the grandparents too.
Day 2 & 3 really really stunk. Days 4 & 5 got better. Here are the kiddos this week.

Sweet little mouse:

Big Sis+Lil Sis = Love?

this big brother loves to sleep in a zoo of stuffed animals

the little monster decorated his legs (and the kitchen table) with markers.