anatomy of a pitstop

When you have four young children, successful travelling depends upon sucessful pitstops. and a DVD player.

Do's:
-start with happy, cooperative children.
-find a Kroger with an in-store Starbucks
-wear baby in the sling.
-take everyone to the potty and change diapers.
-go to the snack aisle and pick out a box of fruit snacks for $1.99. pleasantly smile at people admiring your adorable chicks in matching clothes.
-get coffee in the in-store starbucks
-go to car, divy up fruit snacks, put on movie, and nurse baby.
-get Kroger gas and get on your way. approx. time 45 minutes

Don't:
-travel at all with unhappy, uncooperative children who have been spoiled by 2 sets of grandparents.
-if you ignore the first piece of advice, then don't spend 20 minutes of pit stop answering phone messages because you finally are out of the country and have service. Just risk it and talk while you drive.
-then, don't go into Mcdonalds just for a bathroom break, with no intention of buying happy meals for everyone. It only causes uncooperative spoiled children to add sullen and bitter to their list of available attitudes.
-then, EVEN IF there is an amazing fabric store right next to the McDonalds and EVEN IF you've been dying to see what they have and even have a specific fabric that YOU NEED to run your businss, don't try to take 4 kids in there!
-then, while nursing your baby in the parking lot, don't try to throw crackers at your kids to keep them happy. And if you do, then later don't try to vacuum the car while nursing. The baby deserves a little peace while she eats.
-then, just forget about the gourmet coffee and settle for fast food coffee. Whatever you do, DO NOT try to take the children into a books-a-million because "I can pick up coffee AND that book I wanted to read." After 20 minutes of searching for it, the cashier will tell you they must not have it. And they probably do, they just want you out of the store. TRY to pleasantly smile at people looking at you and your troublemakers with a smile that says "They really are good. . . sometimes."
-after uneventful gas fill-up, approx. time 2 hours, 15 minutes.